All By Myself
by Dinsmore
Summary: Sad FM, easy listening for the over-30’s. That was the lowest point Sam had ever seen. This story follows Sam (and relationships) through the rest of series 7, displaying her struggle through singleton land.


This is a fanfic beginning as a songfic of 'All By Myself' by Jamie O'Neal (Coincidence of O'Neal/O'Neill?!)  
  
Summary: Sad FM, easy listening for the over-30's. That was the lowest point Sam had ever seen. This story follows Sam (and relationships) through the rest of series 7, displaying her struggle through singleton land.  
  
A/N Think Bridget Jones' Diary, the beginning scene in her living room.  
  
'All By Myself'  
  
By Dinsmore  
  
37yrs, going on 50 and single. Single for God knows how long, and alone. She was so alone and sad. Yes, she was in love, yes she wanted love, but it was forbidden. Her fairy tale was forbidden.  
  
"Stupi, bloddy, forbiddeded re-reg-regulashioneses!" She blurted out to no one in particular.  
  
This was the first time she had been drunk in a long while, and her body wasn't taking it well. Sure, she was used to a few beers, but wine was something you drank out on dates, and Major Samantha Carter didn't do dates.  
  
Sam was sitting alone on her sofa; glass of wine in one hand, audio remote in the other, in red and white-rabbit checked pyjamas from Cassie. The sounds of 'Sad Fm, Easy Listening for the over 30's' was gently lulling her to further drunkenness, all of the songs about love - gained and lost. Her pain out-weighed them all. Seven bloody years of threads and lost ties had left Sam almost entirely helpless. Physically, she was strong. Mentally, fighting Goulds and the like, she was strong. Hiding her emotions, she was strong, but when she walked over the threshold of her home, she would break. It was becoming too much, and she wouldn't be able to cope for much longer.  
  
Her arm went to turn it off when the starting notes of a love song crept into her room. Intrigued, she turned the volume up to hear the splendid tunes of Jamie O'Neal. Something she hadn't listened to in a while. A song that she could relate to.  
  
"Well, folks, its 11:57 and for all you longing lovers out there, here's one for you."  
  
"When I was young I never needed anyone, And makin' love was just for fun. Those days are gone"  
  
"Livin' alone, I think of all the friends I've known, But when I dial the telephone Nobody's home."  
  
"All by myself Don' wanna be all by myself Anymore"  
  
"Hard to be sure, Sometimes I feel so insecure, And loves so distant and obscure, Remains the cure"  
  
"All by myself Don' wanna be all by myself Anymore All by myself, I don' wanna live all by myself Anymore"  
  
(Guitar and piano interlude)  
  
Sam lifted her pre-occupied hands into a mini-guitar shape and plucked thin air along to the pizzicato. The words washed over her, and her memory clicked into life. She began to sing along.  
  
"When I was young I never needed anyone, And makin love was just for fun. Those days are gone."  
  
Tears rolled down her cheeks as the song became more emotional and strong.  
  
"All by myself, Don' wanna be all by myself Anymore"  
  
She found herself performing on her sofa to an imaginary audience; kicking in the air and holding a newspaper microphone, venting her emotion on the long notes.  
  
"All by myself, Don' wanna live."  
  
She drummed in the air to the powerful bass.  
  
"Oh" (long)  
  
"Don' wanna live by myself, By myself anymore."  
  
"Oh" (long)  
  
"Oh" (long)  
  
Her performance streak melted into flailing movements and her hands found a comfy pillow. She fell onto it, burying her wet cheeks into the material. The song faded and her heart retreated. The remote fell to the floor, turning the radio off. All that could be heard were the muffled sobs of pain and prolonged sorrow.  
  
From somewhere deep inside, an unused voice said to her - "Let what is keeping you from being happy go, Sam."  
  
Those words stirred around her memory, and she whispered - "No regrets."  
  
"Happy Birthday, Sam." 


End file.
